When I was in 3rd grade I was a bully.
I was not a mean to other kids, but I knew how to get other kids to go along with what I wanted to happen. I was a master manipulator. My friends and I joined a Girl Scout troop, but most of what we did was crafts and singing. I love a good sing a long, but there are only so many crafts an antsy kid can handle.
During one of those Girl Scout meetings we were singing a song and that led to what I thought was a hilarious joke at the expense of someone else. That someone else was the troop leader. Being a funny kid and a master manipulator I convinced all the girls in the troop to start calling our troop leader by this name, including her daughter. They followed in lock step. After this, I was asked not to return to the Girl Scouts. I was “too rambunctious” for them to handle.
That summer a friend was going to YMCA camp and she invited me to come along. Camp was new, but sounded fun. Within minutes of arriving at camp I ran off to go check out canoes and never looked back to say goodbye to my parents. YMCA Summer Camp became my place. We ran, we canoed, we shot archery and we actually got to do stuff, including an occasional craft. The counselors were college kids who were so cool and worldly. We convinced our counselor to let us stay up late and even pull a prank on one of the boys counselors.
Weeks I went to camp became known as prank weeks among the staff. I would lead the antics that were in good fun for everyone. We did not hurt people or property, but offered just enough hijinks and danger to be acceptable for everyone. One afternoon while cahooting with my cabin mates my favorite counselor, Jodi, overhead our plans. She pulled me aside to talk to me. I thought I was getting in trouble and my mom was being called. Instead Jodi said it’s clear that I know how to get people on board with me and that’s not a skill that everyone has. But right now I had to decide what I was going to do with it. I can use this leadership ability to get people to do good stuff or I could use it to get what I wanted. The choice was up to me.
It was a quick, simple conversation that I later learned she didn’t even remember having. Probably something she had said to any number of campers. As a 9 year old though this hit me like a ton of bricks. I would love to say I never pulled a prank or abandoned my master manipulator ways, but that would be a lie. What I did do was change in subtle ways, think about my actions and how they affected others more often. I went on to be a counselor, and then to teach other counselors and then to have that very conversation of my own with kids who also showed leadership that may be going awry. Jodi’s ability to recognize a kid for who they are and challenge them to who they will become shaped my life, my career and my future.
Karla Schell, Director at our YMCA Camp Kon O Kwee Spencer